First Love
by Rikku-Lin-Minouke
Summary: AU Botan finds her self traveling down memory lane


**First Love**

**By Rikku Lin Minouke**

**Disclaimer: I don't own YYH**

I don't know how I ended up here. Honestly, the last thing I remembered was the turn off onto Powers Boulevard. Now, I was parked on Wildflower Lane in Chaska staring at a white house that sported a Green Bay Packers flag. The light flickered from the bonfire set up on the driveway, spitting flecks into the cold night air. From several blocks down, I watched a group of people gather around it with their light jackets and mesh camping chairs.

My fingers gripped the steering wheel of my Ford Focus as I stared at the spot his black Jeep used to wait for our next adventure. It was hard to forget all the time spent here in the yard. The way the guys would gather and hit golf balls over the fence across the street; to see if they could make it over the highway. All the crazy Nerf gun wars, I remember watching from the front steps as they would duck and cover, or somersaulting in the nick of time. I'll never erase the memories of his hands on me, holding me steady, teaching me how to rollerblade in the cul-de-sac at the end of the street.

A small snort shook my shoulders as I remembered slowly driving by his driveway in my beat up Buick Roadmaster. It couldn't go in reverse, so I'd do a drive-by. I'd yell for him to jump in, like we were running away from our Romeo and Juliet life style. No stopping, no turning back.

I'll never forget his red hair shinning in the sun as we walked down the side walk. My tiny hand fitting into the comfort of his big grip as we left school, using the path through the woods to reach his house after school.

Shaking my blue tresses, I smiled softly remembering all the small "detours" we'd take from the path. Just for a moment alone to feel the love we possessed for each other. The feel of his lips caressing mine while his hands captured my face would forever be imprinted in my dreams.

Like every good dream, though, there are waking moments. I remember the look on his face every time he would defend my good name to his mother. She was always convinced I loved his money instead of his heart. No matter how hard we battled, I was never able to shake the reputation of the girl from the other side of the tracks. He never cared about labels and I loved him even more for it. The fire in his green eyes would blaze at my defense over and over again for several years. I wonder if he ever got tired of trying to paint my portrait to his family. In my imagination, I like to believe he never lost faith in me. To this day, I have faith in him.

Even when I went to college, we still came back to meet here again. A smile broke my concentration as I remembered the yellow lemonade tie he wore that matched my cocktail dress. All the ridiculous poses we did for pictures on the lawn. We never had a reason for dressing up, other than celebrating our time together.

It was raining when we stood in the driveway, our clothes quickly collecting the drops of water. And I spun in a circle feeling the cooling summer rain. That's when I noticed him leaning against the side of the house with his arms folded against his now see through white tee shirt. My feet had stopped with a splash in a puddle, letting a giggle leave my lips. A giggle that hadn't seen real pain yet.

For the life of me I could never forget the way his lips slowly parted as he pushed off the wall to walk towards me. I'll never forget the way his red hair clung to the sides of his face as he twirled his fingers in my damp strands. The sound of my blood pounding in my ears as my heart pounded against the walls of my chest. The glimmer in his eyes as he leaned close while thunder rumbled overhead.

Closing my pink eyes, I tried to shut down the memory of our first exchange of "I love you"'s, but his voice was drifting through my ears. Trying to ground myself from the shock of his voice, I bit my lip and clutching the steering wheel until my knuckles went white.

I could feel the burn in my eyes as several tears slipped passed their barricades. Once that first memory was opened, my mind couldn't hold back all the harder to handle moments. Our first Valentine's Day, when he made me my favorite meal and we danced to the sound of our hearts beating in the half finished basement. It was perfect and will always be one of my favorite memories. His eyes would gleam and nervousness when I would notice something small that he had done, from the candle in the middle of the table to his choice of dessert.

His eyes always betrayed the way he held himself. I won't forget the night we spent in his basement watching MTV music videos. The feel of his hands were gentle and warm on my skin. When he'd kiss me, it seemed all my muscles would melt. That night had felt right in many ways and I wouldn't change one minute of it. Not even the fact that our first time was on his couch in the dark musty basement. Not even the pain that came because he made it worth every moment.

Opening my eyes, I gazed through the darkness and I wasn't sure if it was really or my mind playing tricks on me. There by the fire, I was almost sure I could make out the long red hair that I used to run my hands through. The man in the dark green sweatshirt that I used to cling to like a lifeline. This was still his parent's house, so it may not be my mind hoping for a glimpse of the smile that could make any rainy day shine like the sun.

I sucked in a breath as I looked at my hands on the steering wheel, still gripping the charcoal leather tightly. The ring on my finger barely shined in the darkness, but I knew it was there.

A small chuckle shook my shoulders as I remembered sitting on his bed in the room right above their garage. He was kneeling between my legs and I was smiling about something he'd just said. That's when he grabbed my hand, stilling my breath in my throat. Slowly I'd watched him pull something from his back pocket. I remember joking with him about how we'd agreed no presents this Christmas because we'd both been paying too much for rent at college. He didn't say a word until I felt it. Sliding down my finger until it settled at the apex of the digit.

I'll never forget the look of the cheap plastic ring on my finger. It was gold with a green "gem" in the middle. What came out of my mouth could have been a laugh or cry, I'm still not sure to this day. He'd asked me to marry him after college and I had accepted.

Only for a few more months.

By summer, he'd received a job at his uncle's law firm and I was still away trying to get my degree. I'd lost count of the days I'd wait for his phone calls. I'd forgotten how many times I'd missed class waiting for an early morning skype date that never happened.

I blinked my eyes to see the man I believed was him hugging a small brunette with short hair. He was smiling; that I was sure from even this distance.

Thanksgiving had rolled around and his work was throwing a company party. I remember how much we'd argued about trying to find me a ride home from school and then a way back, but I'd made it there. It was a great night and we'd had a lot of fun dancing, just the two of us in front of whole company on the dance floor. Our love had shined bright for all to see.

I remember standing on his driveway after the event, it was snowing lightly and I was wearing his suit jacket. Tears were brimming in my eyes before I could stop them. His eyes were red as he refused to look at me. My fingers shook as I'd held the plastic ring out to him. Pleading, crying, and shaking I had asked for forgiveness and understanding. Neither of which he gave me. His work had become his life when it should have been me, like we had promised in high school.

When he'd drove me home that night, I kissed him for all I'd been worth and shut the door behind me. I could feel his green eyes memorizing the way I walked up the cement steps to my parent's condo complex.

That all seemed so long ago now.

Besides me, I saw the flashing light on my phone as it buzzed in the cup holder. Clearing my throat, I picked it up.

"Hey," I said softly.

"Hey yourself," the masculine voice replied. "Are you almost home?"

A small smile crept to my lips. "Kind of. There was a bit of construction so I've had to find a new way home."

"Did you get lost again?" humor coated his voice and I wonder if he knew how right he was.

"Yeah, I did," with a whole different meaning to my words. "But I think I'm on the right track now. Just had to back track a bit and remember where the right way was."

"Alright, well I'll warm some food up for you then," he told me and I knew he was smiling by the tone in his voice.

"Sounds good," I said. "Thank you honey."

"No problem. See you in a bit," he sounded like he was about to hang up.

"Hey," I said suddenly waiting for his expectant pause. "I love you."

There was a bit of a pause when I knew he was most definitely smiling. "I love you too Botan. I'll see you when you get home."

"Bye." Hanging up, I took one last look at the fire with a sigh. "Good bye Kurama. I hope the best for you." My voice was soft and weak, but I meant what I said even if he'd never hear my words.


End file.
